Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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