I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
