that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
