I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
