we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
bring money and cleavage
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
