im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize