16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
