Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Randomize
