we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
