her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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