ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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