Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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