When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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