so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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