remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
