The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
