i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
