You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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