Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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