Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
