I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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