What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
