Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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