I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
