Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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