my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
