I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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