yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
