You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
