K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
