My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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