It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
