Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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