I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
