Only a mothe r could love this liver
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize