i jhust puked up my retainher.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
