We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
