wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
