barbara walters just said penis...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
