Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize