shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
