he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize