I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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