i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
