I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
