Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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