He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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