the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
