Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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