Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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