TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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