I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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