Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
