sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
