Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
