I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
