I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
