i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize