my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
