What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
