Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
