At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
