Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
