So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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